Update - What we've been doing

Hey everyone,

I know my last post was a big downer; sorry I was such a whiner - and thank you for all of the encouraging comments. It's always nice to know people care and they have faith in you.

An update, if you didn't already read my Photography blog, I should have my camera back - or maybe even a new one within the next few weeks. I can't wait!
And no I am not giving up my photography, I was very stressed and I just needed to vent....but I am not going to push my photography, I like being able to be in control and choose when and where I photograph. So for now I will do what I have been doing for the past years and continue to do a small business out of my house, it works for me and I stay busy. And I get to spend time with my little buddy - Austin. Thanks for all the advice! And for those who are wondering, no I didn't enter anything into the fair...it's just not my thing. I like to enjoy admiring other photographers work without worrying if people like mine. Maybe next year (or not)
I am so excited for the fair though!

So that's that -
And here is what we've been up to lately

My Grandma does a annual family get together at the FMC Park, which was last Saturday and here are a few photos from that:

The guys picking teams for football

The kids played some fun games

Jessie & Austin - he was the hit of the party

My dad and Austin - I think my dad is starting to get attached to him :)

And this past week I got the chance to go visit my sister Cyndee at Hill Air force Base. Where we watched Blake my nephew play some soccer - he is so fun to watch. When ever he goes for the ball and kicks it his whole face lights up and he gets into it. Here are a few photos....

My sister, mom, and I spend the next day at Park City shopping, which is always fun!

And that's what the McLaughlan Trio has been up to!

What to do?

Well if you don't wanna hear me whine, you might wanna skip this post. But I need someone to talk to or vent to but I don't so I just decided to let it out in a post.....

So lately I have been feeling a little depressed....ok a lot depressed. It started a little while ago when I found out that someone was opening a photo studio here in Blackfoot. I’m not depressed that they opened it - I am depressed because I had an opportunity to buy the building where Moose Hotdogs was and put a studio there and rent out the half of the building which would almost pay for the monthly payments. Aaron bugged me about it for a few weeks and we even took a look at the building and were so close to doing it - But you see many of you might not know this about me but - I have a very low self-esteem, I don't have confidence in myself. I was so afraid that I decided just to keep my little photo business small and low-key. I was fine with it because I was still pretty busy without the big business hassle. So now that I see people - around my age - doing my dream, it got me a little depressed.

And my brother Tim pointed out to me that tons of people are starting to do their own home photography business like I have been doing for years. And I just started to notice that. It’s like everyone and their dog is starting their own photography business….. This means there is less of a need for me! I didn’t know that a photography business what that easy to start! But I guess it is since everyone is doing it!

So that was the starter of my little depression spiral...

Than I had a couple that called me to do their wedding...almost a month ago - they asked me to send a price list and they were going to let me know if they wanted to book me. I told them I needed some notice and a down payment (since I have been burned a lot with out down payments - I’m to darn nice) in order to hold the date....well their friend who gave them my number told me that they had called it off so I didn't worry about calling them back. Well I guess the wedding within a week was called back on and the guy called me Wen. and asked if I was still photographing their wedding......well since I never got a down payment and I never got a definite yes, I booked the date for someone else. Yeah he wasn't too happy about that. And he let me know........BOY did he let me know!!! What was I to do - I never got a definite yes or down payment! So after he hung up on me - but not before he threatened me that he was going to let everyone know what I did to him!

Aaron's right I am not a business person at all - I take things so personal.

Than I did two baby sessions last week that I have been trying to edit for a week and I spend hours and hours editing - that's the part no one sees how much work this hobby can be - on average you can spend up to 8 hours editing one session, and a wedding takes twice as much, but maybe it's just me because I like things perfect (only photography work - my house it a disaster area!) Anyways Austin has been so whinny lately that I haven't been able to get things done during the day and when Aaron gets home at night he is so worn out from work he pretty much eats and goes to sleep.... So I spend many nights working on my photos until 4 in the morning. It really drains you but what can I do. I hate asking people to watch my kid, I mean I don't have a real job and I am a stay at home mom....I should be able to handle this - RIGHT? I don’t' know what I'd do without my in-laws. Danee and Jan are so wonderful they help out a lot with Austin and I appreciate it so much!

It just makes me more depressed that I can’t handle my life right now. My house has been a complete disaster for the past month, I get so grouchy with Austin, Aaron seems like he can’t stand to be around me, I can’t stand to be around myself right now!

But I am just thinking why am I doing this....for something I used to totally love and have a passion for photography- I am now starting to struggle with it. It's like Heavenly Father is trying to tell me something! Maybe this isn't what I am supposed to do.... Something that you love this much, shouldn't make you this depressed should it?

So this is what I am struggling with.

And most of you know that while I was photographing a senior session Friday night my camera stopped working. So I feel like that is another mark against my photography. Frustration is all I feel right now.

Well I feel a little better now that I vented, but I haven’t come to a decision yet. I feel like I am at a crossroad right now. Do I push my photography? Do I go back to school for something more “practical”? Do I get a “real job”? Do I really want to put my kid in daycare?

Photo Chair Project

I am trying to be my crafty and I really wanted a red chair to take senior portraits with. So I went to DI and found a chair for $4.00 and I bought some spray paint. And after 2 days of sanding the finish off this is what I got! I LOVE IT!

Blast From the Past

Yesterday was a wonderful day - so relaxing, and my white legs even saw a little sun!

My good friend from Utah came home to visit (I love it when you come home Jenna). We met Rosa and Jessie at Ross Park and spent the day swimming with the kids. Austin had a blast - he LOVES the water!

Austin playing in the water

Jenna, Rosa, & Me

Paityn, Alivia, & Kamryn - such cute girls

"The Babes" - Austin, Raegyn, & Austin (finally asleep)

Then here's Paityn - She single handedly shut down the kiddy pool! She is such a DOLL!!

So you can see why I love it when Jenna comes to town - besides her cute kiddies - she always wants to do something! And it's always fun! I can't wait until she moves closer, but I'll miss the chats on the phone when she does~! And of course it was wonderful to see Rosa again! I can't wait until our Austin's are old enough to play like the girls did!

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Not only did I get to see one blast from the past - on Monday my 'ol high school buddy Shani was in town - I never get to see her since she lives in Illinois, soon to be Indiana (which isn't any better). We (Aaron, me, Brady, Shani, and Tony) stayed up until mid-night playing "nurtz" ( have no clue how to spell) - I am terrible at that game!! But we had fun laughing our heads off like old times!

I was so happy she called - it's been forever since we hung out - and she's still a hoot!

Sorry no pics! I know what a shocker!!

You know it's kind of nice to live in a small town - everyone has to come home sometime!!

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Since I am reminesing about old times I pulled up my senior picture CD (thanks to my wonderful mom who photographed even second - that was when she got her first digital camera - that's where I get my obsessive compulsive disorder of picture taking!)

I laughed a lot - and got a little depressed because I was like 20 lbs lighter! But here are a few pics to share with you - Many of you will remember these pics!

GOOD TIMES!

Seminary Graduation - Jess, Me, Brady, Danielle, Jenna, Mary

(We were in our softball uniforms because of State)

Me & Shani

Seniors - Aleesa, Hillary, Heather, Jenna, Jess, Me, Brady, & Heather

Runner-up at Sate

Tess & Me at Graduation

Shani, Me, & Brooke

Wow I can't believe we've been graduated 6 years!!! Soon it will be our 10 year reunion! Crap we are getting old guys!

6 Months old and growing.....

Austin is now 6 months old. I can't believe it! This past Thursday he went in for his 6 month check-up and shots (I hate doing shots I feel so mean - but he's a tough dude he only cries for a second).

He weighed in at a whoppin 18 lbs. and 28 inches! He is so big! He is like a monster compared to every baby I know around his age. And I know this sounds so dumb and maybe silly of me but I am so afraid he is going to be a fat kid....I know sounds horrible of me to say - but it's a worry I have always had. I know what it's like to be teased growing up because you are fat. Kids are so mean and that's the last thing I want my kids to go through. It just seems like he is so much bigger than everyone else and weighs a lot too. And I know I should worry at all, he's a baby! And he is healthy so I should be happy, and grateful! I just can't help that the worry of my kids being fat and tease is always in the back of my mind. Even the nurse that weighed him said he was average. I felt a little better when she told me she weighed a baby the other day who was 6 months and it was 25 lbs. So I guess he could be a lot bigger! Anyways....

So he is 6 months and here are a few pics and videos of the new things he has picked up on in the last month.

Austin LOVES his toys - He can interact with them a lot more now

It's fun to watch him, he gets really excited

I had to throw this pic in. Aaron came home for lunch and laid down with Austin and fell asleep and than Gizmo came in and laid by them. It was so cute!

Gizmo and Austin

Austin has learned how to clap - he LOVES to clap!

He likes to sit on the back of the couch and look out the window

This isn't anything new to Austin, he has been doing this since he was about 4 months old but I caught a cute video of Danee playing with Austin and his blanket. He likes it when you put it on his face and pull it off really fast. He'll giggle for a long time!




Austin totally LOVES Gizmo! Aaron likes to put Gizmo up to Austin and he just squeals and laughs, he tries to pet him but can't control his hands because he gets so excited. It's really cute. Gizmo is pretty good with him but I am still a little cautious - unlike Aaron. Sometimes Austin will pull on Gizmo and that's when I know Gizmo is done. Here is a cute video...

I also had some other photos that were cute. Aunt Danee stayed with us for a while and Austin loved it! We love Aunt Danee, and I really love Danee tonight because she took him for a few hours while I got to finally clean a little of my house and work on some photo sessions I need to get edited. So Aunt Danee we love you and we are so glad you are around. These pics are for you!

This was when they fell asleep on the couch, it was so cute!

This pic was after Danee had worn him out, he was totally crashed and his binky was halfway out.

I am a late bloomer!

Yes I know summer is close to being over and normal people plant flowers at the first of summer or middle....not me! Im just happy I have any at all!

Saturday I decided I was sick of the outside of our house looking like "white-trash" so we went to Wal-Mart and I picked out some pots (on a super sale) to plant some flowers in. Since it is the end of the season there wasn't much to choose from but you can't beat the price of 50 cents! And I know they will only last a few months....if that, since most were annuals.

I went home and planted my pots to put on my front porch...that wasn't enough, my house still looked trashy! I decided to pretend that I am a gardner like my mom and we dug up all the old bark on the left side of the house and put flowers and new dirt there. And anyone who knows me knows I do not have a green thumb at all!

Of course my few hours planned to beautify my house turned into a weekend project. I am proud of myself though. I must of done an ok job because here it is Thursday and they are all still alive......(knock on wood)

Anyways here are a few pics of the out come - I wish I would have taken a before pic, it looked awful.

Breaking Bedtime for Breaking Dawn

Well as you can tell from my last two post and the date that I have been up late blogging...and here is why:

My wonderful sister-in-law Danee Dee is a huge fan of Stephenie Meyer and has been reading the Twilight Series. I guess it's all the rave right now - like the Harry Potter books...anyways the fourth book was scheduled to come out at midnight tonight and she decides at 11:30 she wants to go stand in line to get one. Me being the cool sister-in-law that I am decided to take her to Wal-Mart to wait in line. (which after waiting with my brouther-in-law Jordan for the Harry Potter book a couple years ago, I swore I would never do it again - I don't even read!!! That's why I say I am a cool sister-in-law :) As Danee and I are waiting in line she decides that since she is going to buy all of the books she is going to get me hooked on reading thing - she spent the whole time talking about how wonderful they are! SO I agreed to atleast try them if she bought all of them....it will be a miricle if I have time to read them with Austin (I spend my free time blogging I told her and I am not giving that up - it has become a sick habbit!). So there we are at 5 till 12:00 waiting and she said she is going to stay up all night and read so I said great I'll stay up and blog while you read - as long as I get my Diet Coke. Deal she said.....well this is how the night went - here is a storyboard of photos....

Waiting in line at Wal-Mart

Buying the series

An hour later

Yeah thanks so much Danee!! And here I am at 2:30 a.m. blogging and finishing my Diet Coke. Let's see if I read the books now! :)

Just kidding - I love you Danee Dee, even though I can't sleep and you are snoring next to me! Well since I can't sleep maybe I'll pick of the first book and start....wish me luck it's been years since I've read a book and actually finished!

Baby Kyler is here

My sister-in-law Danielle finally had her baby on the 30th, and today I got to meet him. He is so small and sweet. He has a wonderful head of dark hair and beautiful skin! He's so precious. We have decided that this baby looks more like Danielle where Bowen (there first) looked just like Tim (my brother).
Tim was determined to name his son Kal-El (for those of you who don't know your superheroes, it is Superman's Kryptonian name) and Danielle was determined not to so Tim said if he got Kal-El as the middle name Danielle could do whatever she wanted for the first name. So Danielle wanted to name him after her dad Kyle. And that is where they got the name Kyler Kalel Brendle. I love it!

Kyler Kalel Brendle

Austin, Me, & Kyler

So sweet and small!

It was so fun to hold a newborn again. I know Austin is still a baby but he has grown so fast and is about to crawl and he doesn't seem like a baby to me anymore (I know sounds crazy he is barely going to be 6 months). So I was lovin on Kyler. I miss the newborn cuddles. Austin was such a cuddler, and now he isn't anymore. I miss it, guess I'll just have to love on my new nephew until Aaron's ready for little baby Mc #2 :) don't worry it won't be for a while!

Austin and his girlfriend Katreena

So Austin has a little girlfriend already named Katreena who was born a month and a half after him. She is such a doll and when we get them together it is SOOOOOooo CUTE! Tonight we got them together to go swimming - only lasted a a few seconds because they were both cold. We took them inside to play with each other and it was so funny. Austin kept stealing Katreena's toy and then they laid down and Austin kept trying to hold her hand, so cute. And of course mom couldn't help but take some snapshots.

Katreena & Austin

Mom caught him holding a girls hand and he didn't know what to do, it's like a deer in the headlights look.

Here Austin is trying to steal her toy away.